Vengeance of the Demon: Demon Novels, Book Seven (Kara Gillian 7) Read online

  I closed and locked the bathroom door, started the water and shed my clothes. Scars still covered my torso, hideous remnants of sigils I could no longer sense. I twisted to look in the mirror at the small of my back. Szerain had activated the twelfth sigil there—the only one that wasn’t a scar anymore. It should have glowed a gorgeous sapphire blue.

  Nothing. Not a glimmer. Was it simply invisible to me, or had it been deactivated along with my arcane ability?

  Straightening, I stared at my reflection. The sight of the scars destroyed the last thread of my stoic façade. If I have to lose my abilities, why couldn’t these terrible things go as well?

  Stupid question. Because that’s how shit goes for me.

  Lower lip trembling, I stepped into the tub and slid down. The water was only a few degrees shy of scalding, but I barely noticed the sting of it. Eyes closed, I steeled myself to test what I’d put off, dreading the answer. “Mzatal,” I whispered. Even with him withdrawn, I’d always been able to sense his presence when I tried. I opened my eyes, called to him, mentally reached.

  Mzatal.

  Nothing.

  Mzatal.

  Tears blurred my vision. As a final, giant fuck you from the universe, I’d lost the remaining wisp of my connection with Mzatal. Katashi had severed me from the arcane and my lover—a lover who needed me as much as I needed him. My silent weeping turned into heaving sobs drowned out by the sound of running water.

  When the water began to lap at the edge of the tub, I pulled myself together enough to shut off the faucet, then lay back again, wrung out and exhausted. I wasn’t ready to get out and go to my bedroom. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone. Didn’t want to face all the reminders of what I’d lost. I soaked in the heat and hoped it would fill the gaping void.

  A light tap on the door was followed by, “Kara?” Jill’s voice, heavy with concern. “You need anything?”

  “No,” I said then added, “thanks.” I rested my head against the edge of the tub and gazed up at the ceiling. “I just need a little time.”

  “Okay,” she said though she sounded no less worried. “If you get hungry, there’s meatloaf out here. And ice cream.”

  “Thanks,” I said again and left it at that. A few seconds later I heard her footsteps retreating down the hall. I closed my eyes, not worried about falling asleep in the tub. Not with my mind jabbering as I struggled to make sense of the loss and twisted injustice of it all. When the water cooled to where it was barely tolerable, I let some out and ran more hot water in.

  Eilahn was wrong, I thought. The bath didn’t help. It wasn’t bringing my arcane senses back. It didn’t change what happened to me one bit.

  Well, maybe it helped a little. I didn’t smell like vomit anymore. I slid down until my ears were beneath the surface, and sound became surreal, distorted, and muted. I pretended that the outside world didn’t exist and that it didn’t matter that I wasn’t a summoner anymore or that I couldn’t feel Mzatal. I stared at nothing and clung to my sliver of peace as hard as I could.

  A knock on the door echoed oddly through the water in my ears. “Hey, Gillian.” Pellini this time.

  “What.”

  “About time to come out, don’t you think?”

  I had no idea how long I’d been in here. Nor did I care. I wanted to stay in the tub. Didn’t want that ripped away from me too. “I’m fine.”

  “I didn’t ask if you were fine or not.”

  I twitched in aggravation, lifted my head out of the water. “Leave me alone, okay?”

  A pause. “For five more minutes. I’ll be back.”

  “Don’t bother,” I said. Two minutes or five minutes, I’d have the same answer for him. I squeezed my eyes shut and slipped fully under the surface, and came up only when my lungs started to ache. All of my senses returned to normal except for the other which remained nonexistent.

  Pellini’s heavy knock rattled the door again. I had a feeling he’d given me more than five minutes, but it was still less than “as many minutes as I damn well wanted.”

  “Come on out,” he ordered.

  “Leave me alone,” I ordered right back.

  “I’m not going to do that.”

  I pressed the heels of my palms against my eyes. I knew he was worried I’d do Something Stupid, especially since I sounded nothing like my usual perky self. But it’s my house. My bathtub. My time. My skin that’s wrinkled like a Shar-Pei. And I’m fine.

  All I wanted was to be left alone in my own fucking bathtub. How goddamn hard was that to comprehend? And who the hell did he think he was, anyway? My dad? Fuck that shit. I hadn’t been able to fight back against Katashi and McDunn, but I could hold my ground against Pellini and this particular invasion. “Five more minutes,” I lied.

  He blew out a breath. “No more minutes. Get the fuck out of the tub.”

  “Go. Away.”

  “I’m counting to three, then I’m coming in for you,” he said in an uncompromising tone. “Your choice whether to grab a towel or not. One . . . Two . . .”

  “Leave me the fuck alone!” I yelled. Tears of frustration stung my eyes. Where were Bryce and Jill for all of this? Were they hanging back and watching Pellini be a jerk-ass control-freak buttinsky?

  Apparently so, since the next sound to reach my ears was the click of the lock in the doorknob. Son of a bitch. Other than the door to the basement, all the locks inside the house were the cheap-ass kind with a center hole requiring only a nail or wire to unlock.

  “Three.” He entered and closed the door behind him, a flicker of triumph in his eyes.

  Dismay washed over me. Not only was I stark naked, but no one had cared enough to rush to my defense while he invaded my space. With a sob-cry of rage I hurled a bottle of shampoo at him, but he ducked and deflected it with his forearm.

  “Get out of the tub, Kara,” he said with infuriating calm.

  I no longer cared that I was naked. Hell, he’d already seen my everything after I died and came back to Earth in the PD squad room. “Why can’t you leave me alone?” I demanded, voice cracking.

  “Because I’m an asshole,” he said. “Get out of the tub.” He picked up a towel then had to duck again as I slung a bottle of conditioner at him.

  I seized the body wash and cocked my arm back. A lot of different people had been living in this house, and there were at least a dozen bottles of hygiene products within my reach. I could keep this up all night, and would, if it meant winning this battle.

  Pellini regarded me with narrowed eyes and pursed mouth. My arm trembled as I held eighteen fluid ounces of Silky Peach Blossom Skin-Nourishing Body Wash, but if I lowered it at this point in the standoff, it would be admitting defeat. I watched the thoughts tick through his head, and I wondered if he’d resort to dragging me bodily from the tub. I couldn’t even hope for Eilahn to save me if he did. As drained as she’d been, it would be several hours before she budged from the nexus.

  The shaking of my arm increased due to my own exhaustion combined with the hot water and lack of food. But before I could chuck the bottle at Pellini to avoid holding it any longer, he shrugged and began to unbutton his shirt.

  “All right,” he said. “If you won’t come out, I’ll have to come in.”

  I sputtered in shock and let the body wash drop into the tub. “No! Fucking hell, are you nuts?”

  He stripped off his shirt and dropped it, then untucked the less than fresh white t-shirt beneath. Not that I had any room to judge freshness or lack thereof considering how gross I’d been before my bath. “Get out of the tub and stop me,” he challenged as he wrestled the t-shirt off.

  Did he really think I would cave that easily? I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him in defiance. No way would he drop trou in front of me. He was bluffing. I was certain of it.

  He unclipped his holstered gun from his waistband and set it on the counter, then reached under his belly for his belt buckle. I tensed but managed to hold back an outright flinch. He was
bluffing. He had to be. I remained immobile while he unbuckled his belt and undid the button of his pants. Any second now he’d stop and switch to a less humiliating tactic. Right? Then again, he didn’t look like a man on the verge of humiliation. He calmly tugged the zipper down, giving me a glimpse of red and black striped boxers, then took hold of pants and boxers at his hips and—

  “Shit! Stop!” I grabbed for the towel. To my relief he took his hands from his waistband, though he waited until I pulled the plug before zipping and buttoning his pants again. Scowling, I yanked the towel around me and climbed out of the tub. As I pushed past him, I thought I saw a hint of relief in his eyes, but then again I’d been convinced he was bluffing, so how was I to know? I stomped down the hall and into my bedroom, slammed the door, then sat on the edge of the bed with the towel clutched around me. Part of me knew how irrational my thinking was, and the rest of me grudgingly admitted that Pellini’s concern wasn’t at all misplaced. Still, the sight of him calmly disrobing was one that would stick with me for a very long time.

  Something touched my back. I startled and twisted to see what it was, then stared in surprise at the sight of Fuzzykins. She lifted her head and gave me a Mrowr?—perfectly normal and without a hint of hate or growling or hissing. She bumped her head against my arm, and the ache within me tripled. She hated summoners. But she clearly didn’t hate me anymore because I wasn’t a summoner.

  I scratched the silly cat’s head, and she rewarded me with a thunderous purr and more head butts, followed by full body rubs against me. Okay, I could almost see why Eilahn liked her so much. Exhaling, I continued to pet the damn cat, mostly because I didn’t have a choice in the matter. She seemed to be making up for all those months of being so nasty to me. I tried to withdraw my hand, but she hooked it with her paw and pulled it back for more affection. Fine. Maybe she’d stop puking in my shoes.

  I froze at a light knock at the door. “It’s me,” Jill said as the cat jammed her head against my hand again.

  “You can come in,” I said. No way in hell did I want anyone else in here with me.

  Jill entered and closed the door behind her. “You’re all wrinkly.”

  “And clean,” I said. “Don’t forget clean.”

  She let out a soft snort. “I have a feeling there wasn’t a lot of scrubbing going on, but you were in there long enough to soak off pretty much anything.” She came around the end of the bed and hiked herself up to sit beside me. Almost beside me. Between us, Fuzzykins was busy having a passion attack.

  “The cat likes me now.” My voice broke, and I looked up at Jill, feeling utterly bereft. I figured Pellini had filled her and Bryce in on everything that went down. The sympathy that swam in her eyes told me she understood the deeper and unwelcome symbolism of the cat’s affection.

  “Is there any way it can be fixed?” she asked gently.

  Fuzzykins arched and purred as I stroked her furry belly. “I sure hope so. We don’t need more kittens around here.”

  “Not the cat, you dork,” Jill said with a weak chuckle and thwacked my arm.

  I managed to hold a smile for a few seconds before it faded again. “I don’t know. I’m trying not to rule anything out or give up hope.” Or hold onto unrealistic hope, I added silently. My throat tightened. “I’m not a cop anymore, and now I’m not a summoner either. What am I supposed to do now that I’m . . .”

  “Normal?” Jill finished for me, cocking her head. “I’m not sure you could ever be normal, darlin’.”

  “Tell me again why I’m friends with you?”

  She smiled and pulled me into a hug, ignoring the protests of the cat between us. “Because you’re Kara Gillian.”

  I hugged her back, pushing down the uncertainty and doubt and grief that roiled through me. No matter what, Jill was precious to me. I didn’t know what I was anymore, but for now my mission was to do whatever I could to make sure Jill and the bean stayed safe. And, I’d find a way to help the others track down that shitstain, Katashi. “Yeah, I’m Kara Gillian,” I replied then released her. “At least that’s what I put down the last time I did my taxes,”

  “Ugh. Taxes.” She shuddered. “Even I don’t want to be that normal.” She patted my leg and stood. “Get dressed and come eat. Meatloaf.”

  “What about the ice cream?” I whined.

  She smiled serenely. “Meatloaf first.”

  “You already sound like a mom.”

  “Yeah? Cool. I’ve been practicing.”

  Chapter 25

  Raised voices from the driveway alerted me to trouble before I was halfway through the slice of Jill’s awesome meatloaf. Dread rising, I dashed to the front porch only to see Pellini blocking the driver’s door of the Malibu as he faced off against an angry Idris. Bryce stood on the bottom step, vigilant and poised to intervene.

  Pellini folded his arms. “Now isn’t the time for you to go off on your own,” he said to Idris with implacable calm.

  Idris lifted his fist, face flushed. “Who the fuck are you to tell me when the right time is?”

  Bryce breathed a low curse and started forward, but Pellini didn’t flinch at the threat. He seemed ready and willing to give Idris an outlet for his churning emotions by taking a punch, however I didn’t want to see either one of them get hurt.

  “Idris. Idris,” I said as I moved down the steps and toward them. “You can leave if you want, but will you please talk to me first?”

  Seething, he rounded on me, fist raised. I stood my ground, braced for him to tell me where I could shove my offer of conversation. Yet, after only a few tense breaths, he lowered his hand. “Sure.” He sounded more exhausted and miserable than aggressive. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you.”

  Sympathy squeezed my heart. “Why don’t we go to the pond.”

  Without a word, Idris strode off and around the house, which I decided to take as a “yes.” I shot a grateful smile to Pellini and Bryce then hustled after Idris, but halfway down the trail through the woods, I slowed. Chest tight, I blinked back tears. This was where I should have been able to feel the valve, like tingling waves over my skin, but I sensed nothing of the arcane. Nothing.

  I continued to the pond clearing and stopped a few feet from the water’s edge. With single-minded determination, I tried to perceive anything beyond the standard five senses.

  Nothing.

  Horror crept through me. Like a dream within a dream, memory of the feel of the arcane faded even as I sought to remember it. Would I eventually forget it altogether?

  Idris stood near where I knew the valve to be, yet nothing distinguished the location from any other grassy patch by the pond. Not even the faintest shimmer. I found a dry spot on the leaves a few feet away and sat heavily. After a minute or two, Idris dropped to sit crosslegged in front of me.

  “How is it?” I asked with a nod toward the valve, relieved that my voice remained steady.

  “Stable enough for the moment.” He paused, and a slight frown tugged at his mouth. “More than stable.”

  “You don’t sound thrilled.” I eyed him. “What’s wrong with mega-stable?”

  “Nothing.” He glowered down at the leaves between us. “Believe me, I tried to find faults.”

  The reason for his annoyance clarified. “Kadir’s method,” I said. “I symmetrized the valve yesterday, and you don’t want to admit that it worked. Really well.”

  Heaving a sigh, he flashed me a weak smile. “You’re right, I don’t,” he said. “But I have no choice. The valve is stable and so clear I can feel Rhyzkahl’s nexus through it.”

  Feel Rhyzkahl’s nexus through the valve? How incredible that must be.

  I shoved down the grief and battled to get it nicely tucked away again. The embodiment of Pellini’s stone cold bitch. Under control.

  Nope. Didn’t work. “I can’t feel anything,” I managed to gasp. “Can’t see anything.” And then my gut caved in on itself, and a wave of sobs rose to choke me. No no no! I couldn’t lose it now. I scrambled to get u
p. All I wanted was to run away and hide somewhere, anywhere.

  Idris grabbed my arm and pulled me back down, called my name. I clawed at him, fought, screamed at him to leave me alone, to let me go. I couldn’t see through my tears. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t see.

  He wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close to his chest and refused to let me go no matter how much I thrashed and shrieked and cursed. He held me until I stopped fighting him, my throat raw and head aching. Worn out, tired of fighting, tired of everything, I finally buried my face against his shoulder and shook in big snotty wet sobs. Even then he didn’t release me but gently changed his hold to an embrace.

  Eventually I wound down to snuffly hiccups. I remained blind to the arcane, but I felt better, more clear. Drawing a shaky breath, I sat up straighter. This time Idris let me go—with caution, as if releasing an alligator back to the swamp. I wiped my face with the bottom of my shirt. “Thanks,” I said and offered him an unsteady smile, then winced. Three scratches scored the side of his face along with several on each forearm. “Crap, Idris. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  He cut me off with a lift of his hand and a ghost of a smile. “Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I have older sisters, remember?”

  I didn’t miss the haunted pain behind the sincere words. “Explains why you’re such a sissy,” I said as I gave his shoulder a light shove.

  Idris chuckled, but it faded along with his smile. Shifting to face the pond, he gazed out over the water. “How long have you known?”

  I rubbed my puffy eyes. “I’ve only known for sure since the day after the plantation raid,” I said. “However, I suspected Tessa might be your mom back in Mzatal’s realm, after you two rescued me from Rhyzkahl.” I gave him a tentative smile. “Your hair and eyes and features. When I returned here I asked her if she’d ever had a baby, and she told me she had but that it was stillborn. And, well, I’m a sneaky bitch. I collected DNA samples from both of you and had them tested.” I let out a long sigh. “I knew she’d been in the demon realm with Rhyzkahl not long before the baby—you—were born. Rhyzkahl was my prime suspect, and Zack confirmed it.”